Get space for the best outcome.
This article by Dr. Esther Cole was published on the Black, African and Asian Therapy Network (BAATN) blog on 19 January 2025.
KEY POINTS
Choosing a therapist is difficult
Things to consider are how well matched you are, and whether they use the right techniques for you
Do your goals, personalities and expectations align?
Therapists more similar to us tend to work better for us, but this isn’t always true
Consultation
There are so many things to consider that might make it difficult for you to choose a therapist. Their training, the type of therapy they use, their personality and own life experiences shape the sort of therapist they will be. What works for one person may not work for another. Keep in mind that while some therapists offer free initial consultations, others may charge, so it’s helpful to check ahead of time.
So how do you know if you’re off to a winning start, and will choose someone who will lead to the best outcome for you? This acronym GET SPACE in the diagram above will help you. You can use the acronym in your initial consultation. Some therapists offer this for free to help you find the best fit for you:
Goals
Do you think the therapist can help you reach your mental wellness goals? Goals are best when they are SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-limited. For example, this could look like: “At 12:00 on Tuesdays I want to go for a swim for 30 min to combat my depression, as this is an activity that use to make me feel great”. Can the therapist you’re speaking to help motivate you to get there? Do they understand how you’re getting in your own way?
Expectations
Similarly, when you speak to your prospective therapist, do you feel full of hope and have positive expectations for the future, or do you tend to feel more hopeless? Hope and expectation have proven to play a big role in more positive therapy outcomes (Snyder, 2002).
Techniques
Does the therapist use techniques that you think will motivate, inspire and heal you? There are so many different types of therapy. CBT might mean you have to try new behaviours, confront fears and challenge your way of thinking.
EMDR may involve light being shined in your eyes to help you process a trauma memory. Psychoanalytic therapy will delve into your unconscious childhood memories and relationships more, to understand how you relate to people now.
Talking therapies have different elements, so it may be worth finding out more about the therapies the practitioner is trained in, ahead of your consultation. The best fit for you may be a therapist who can integrate several different models and tailor-make your therapy for you.
Similarities
Although studies have shown that there are benefits to working across cultures in therapy, most therapists and clients tend to want to work with people who are similar to them. We are attracted to people who have walked similar paths in life. We resonate more and have more of a connection with people who we feel have similar values, life experiences and even personalities.
Personality
When looking at a range of personality traits, again we tend to work best with therapists who have a similar personality to us. For example, action-oriented therapists will work better with action-oriented clients. People also do better with therapists who are similar on levels of trait anxiety (neuroticism) and conscientiousness. Therapist matching in terms of ‘anxious attachment’ (feeling insecure in relationships) also leads to better outcomes with clients (Shir & Tishby, 2023).
Alliance
There are countless studies on the importance of the therapeutic alliance or working relationship, and the impact on therapy outcome. It’s important for you to feel trust, respect, that you are in a non-judgemental and safe space, within that relationship, in order to feel significantly better. Do you feel safe and connected in your free consultation?
Cultural Competence
Research suggests we may learn more from therapists and clients who have different backgrounds to us. For some people, differences are preferable if the therapist is outside their social-cultural context due to privacy and confidentiality. The most important thing for you to feel when you speak to a prospective therapist, is that they can openly explore how differences between you might shape or impact the therapeutic relationship: age, culture, religion, gender, education and so on. Look into intersectionality (Crenshaw, 2005) to understand how these differences may play a role in therapy.
External Events
One of the biggest issues that shape outcomes in therapy is what external events are happening right now. Has someone close to you died? Have you been traumatised by war, an attack or a major life event such as a complex birth? Life changing events are important to bring up in your initial consultation, because bringing in help and resources outside therapy may supplement your therapy. Remember, therapy is less than 1 out of 168 hours in a week – less than 1% of your time. However, if you GET SPACE, you will see possibilities for transformation in your life.
References
Crenshaw, K. (2005). Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence against Women of Color (1994). In R. K. Bergen, J. L. Edleson, & C. M. Renzetti, Violence against women: Classic papers (pp. 282–313). Pearson Education New Zealand.
Shir, R., & Tishby, O. (2023). Therapy matchmaking: Patient-therapist match in personality traits and attachment style. Psychotherapy Research, 34(3), 353–365. https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2023.2195054
Snyder C. (2002). Hope theory: rainbows in the mind. Psychol. Inq. 13, 249–275. 10.1207/S15327965PLI1304_01 [DOI] [Google Scholar]
This post was based on E. Cole (2024), Introduction to the Breaking Through Therapy podcast: www.breakingthroughtherapy.com, Lifespan Psychology – The Diverse Practice® https://open.spotify.com/episode/1zQibXlsBEldz3hBV3NSBj?si=WW_N5TDKQQi-UVQuCIj29g
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